This Is Not What I Was Expecting

Insecurities and Changes: The Story of Sunny Days

Episode Notes

On this week's episode Melissa, Tracy, and Brewer talk about all the different things happening at this point in life. School is ending, people are graduating, and pool parties are becoming the norm. For many children and young adults, this is a scary sight. At a time when you should be in relaxation mode, you are faced with a rush of anxiety and insecurities. This can be especially hard for our children that face challenges. In the end, Melissa and Tracy give great insight into combating these sunny day struggles. 

Episode Transcription

parentalliance

Well one of the things I had just happened had happened yesterday I had a school wanting mom to do extended school year and she's like you know what we've done that we've done the camps we've done all these things. Her child is 10 years old and she said we're actually taking the summer off, we're going camping. We're getting in the woods we're going swimming. We're going boating you know canoes and stuff like that and she said I feel like I like lose some of my family to all these obligations between sports and school and. Every being scheduled full time. So I thought that was a beautiful thing and 100% supported her in that because you too your family can get a little lost in that in wanting to instill values and have time and get to know each other you know so I thought that was wonderful. Um. And I think with social media and even people coming up to you. What are your? What are your plans for the summer where's your vacation going to be what camp is your kid going to what are your activities and like to feel like you have to feel that void It's okay to have a void It's okay to fill that void with just family time and let things naturally occur like even talking about friendships trying to force a friendship situation or a social social situation on your kids.

 

02:40.17

parentalliance

Because you want them quote unquote to have friends if you are allowing them to have their guard down and they feel more relaxed I feel like you got a better chance at that happening and a natural way than feeling like you checked a box because you put them in an activity in a summer camp. And there's nothing I don't have anything against any of those things but there does come a time and a place that it's the right thing for your family to just not engage in that. Yeah I'm I'm a big component of the natural. Friendships as well or natural relationships in in any sense I always remember used to being thrown like you said until like a camp and you're always like hey this is this is Mark this is Ashley you know and you don't know these kids and you keep introducing them every day every day whereas you go to the family camping trip. And you meet another family with a kid of similar age and you guys apparently have a lot of same interest and you guys like the fish and you know and it and it branches from there and then you don't feel like either of you have like when you feel like you're forced to make a friend you feel like you have no friends and that is hurts you in a way right? So when you just are out there naturally making friends. It's just natural to you so it's it's a nice component I think given a child the space to let that happen because we want we want to teach them how to be a friend and how to acquire friends how to be a friend and get friends.

 

04:00.75

parentalliance

But if you don't let that naturally happen and let them kind of figure things out a little bit in a really good place I've actually had parents say like at the end of the season before the school year that a parent kept referring to their camp friends as their friends and then the child was finally like they're not my friends. They were just there while I was there. They're not my friends and you know it hurts a parent's heart to hear that but listen to them listen to what they're saying you know because everybody deserves to have like that natural thing happen. Think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves as parents to check all these boxes and we forget about the very basic natural things that can happen with people and feeling so uptight and stressed and on a schedule like I love the idea. School being out like oh what a relief we can get up what time we want to get up which is still kind of early but it's not going to be. You know at 6 a m right? and just kind of navigate the day and have a little bit of a plan and structure for how things will go. Um I know like. First week or so everybody wants to sleep till noon and all that kind of stuff and like that's okay, take that time and I think there's something to be said for not checking the boxes that maybe the school or socially you feel like you should I agree with you but I also have this fear.

 

05:34.95

parentalliance

Of her. But you know having my daughter home and hearing I am bored probably 900 times during the day you know, um, that unstructured time um is really hard on some kids you know that there has to be some type of you know schedule still cut like. You know my daughter has gone to the extended school year probably since she could I mean like in the very beginning you know first grade probably just because of that lack of um, that regression not all the time is extend school. You're you know, worth. You know, having them go because I don't know him necessarily if the structured time at the extend school year is you know, actually teaching them what they need to be taught, but it is still that okay, we're gonna get up. We're gonna you know, get ready for your day and you're going to go someplace and at least be out of the house. Just a little bit and then come back, you know and that also gives an opportunity for her to maybe meet different people that maybe she wouldn't have known um because they're going to extended school year. So I still like that structured time because I just hear I'm bored. So much during the summery time It's so hard. Yeah I so I still feel it I come home from school and you know like I'm fortunate where I'm I'm old enough I can drive I have a job you know so I'm out of the house doing stuff. But at the end of the day you wake up and you're like I'm just like it's like I'm a 10 year old kid again who wants to go fish or something you know like you just want to get out of the house.

 

07:08.64

parentalliance

Um, so I guess that never leaves that never leaves. But ah when you have a young child who can't drive who doesn't have that like ah ability to do that. How hard is it for you to to to activate transportation from activity to activity. It can be a lot and.

 

07:27.44

parentalliance

I can't say enough about my own village or times that schools out I still had to go to work at five thirty in the morning I still needed. They were still young enough I couldn't be on their own you know couldn't be left to their own devices and I had a beautiful village around me. I was able to buy them like get them pass us for the pool and I had another parent that would okay after breakfast you've got to go over there and they're gonna drive you over to the pool and that was one of the most beautiful things that have ever happened to me as a parent is to have that support and. It was a safe environment. It was someone I trusted and I know that's huge. You know you can't you just can't trust your kids with everybody and having any kind of issues that your child may have you need to know that someone has your back with them that they really understand behaviors and meltdowns and. How they're gonna handle things and you know every kid comes with a list of maybe they're allergic to this and they gotta have sunscreen or whatever it might be but for some of our kids. It's a lot bigger than that. So I feel very very fortunate that I did have a village around me supporting me to help me get my kids to and from. And give them something to do because at the time I was working a job that I didn't get done. You know until like four o'clock and that's like huge part of their day. Sad agree I think that it's really hard. You know for for me while I work at a.

 

09:03.91

parentalliance

While I'm working at home. She sees me so she thinks that I can just pick up and go where you know whenever she wants like I think it was just the other day. She's like I want to go to the mall and like I can't take you to you know like if I can't just pick up and go like I want to go to the mall too. Pick it out so it's like that is's going to be a struggle because I'm probably gonna hear it. You know a bazillion times you know, um, but I do agree I think having that network of people to be able to say you know if your your daughter's doing something. Let's you know, meet in the middle and try to figure out some type of arrangements and plans. So they they can do something I got next week you get the next something like that. Yeah yeah, um, all right? So also talking about the summer let's talk a little bit of holidays. So with fourth of July. What's other major summer holidays we got we got a lot of them right? So there's always barbecues and stuff like that. So um, has there any. Ever been issues with like your childhood challenges with holidays like that in the summer you know maybe maybe the short I was I was a bigger kid growing up so I was always somewhat insecure by a pool with my friends so that was always something I had to go through. Did you guys ever experience something like that. So definitely. Um and it's like it would change from one summer to the next which child was having those insecurities and that growth spurt and going through puberty and maybe for some of our kids they didn't see these relatives these neighbors these friends and things like that.

 

10:35.82

parentalliance

Until summertime and then everybody wants to have the conversation. Oh look how tall you got look how look at you of this and that and oh my goodness that is like so hard on a kid going through changes in puberty and that kind of thing to literally. Have people stand around and like let's see how you've changed since last year that's the last thing they want. So I think even having a conversation with people if you're you have that child. That's maybe having some struggles. Um, or is going through something that they feel so passionately about it so personal to them having a conversation with people before you go and just say you know, let's not do that. Let's just not single them out and make them feel like they are the star of the show i've. Course I want you to be happy to see my kids but you know if you see that kid and he's wearing his t-shirt. He's in the pool with his t-shirt on let him be in the pool with his t-shirt on there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we get really comfortable in our families. And we feel like we can tell somebody else's kids what to do with friends and families and you think you're doing them a favor and a lot of times we're thinking back to the times that we wore that shirt and covered our bodies and.

 

11:57.86

parentalliance

People told us to take our shirts off so they feel like it's their job to tell the next generation take your shirt off, you'll be.. You're Fine. You're Fine. Let them wear their shirt. You know, um I think it's very tough to be a kid and you feel really safe in your zone with your family with your parents. And then you go to different events where there's a huge amount of people. Sometimes you know an amusement park or picnics and things like that and I think it's a lot on a kid to go through that and I think we need to think of that as parents I Also. Having conversations with my daughter. Um, before we do with we go places that have big galleries and things like that you know with with my own daughter. It's it's a struggle to you know, maybe meet new friends or you know even if it is ah a cousin that they haven't seen in a long time. That's. Standoffish feeling that I'm not going to go up to her or him you know right now and it's It's very fear you know and then anxiety um relationships have always been a struggle. Um I think that you know talking about building those friendships. You know for a child that might not have the ability to make friends easily.. It's really hard I know that for so many holidays you know we would have to maybe leave early. You know because things just didn't feel good or.

 

13:34.16

parentalliance

Feelings got overwhelmed. You know, being ah overwhelmed by everything that's been going on around them or not being it'll feel comfortable so we would have to leave early. You know and that would be okay, but having that conversation and making sure that your child feels safe to be able to say you know I i. Don't feel comfortable but also kind of pushing a little bit to say are you doing everything that you can to you know maybe have a friendship there. Um, but if not then not forcing it but but relationships have always been a struggle for my daughter. Yeah yeah, the summer are so interesting because. You you have this whole year of school that's normal for however, many months eight months what out of the year nine months out of the year and then and then you're lost in this no man's land especially if it's challenging for you to make friendships or maintain friendships or keep them over the summer. Um, so you kind of have to rebuild yourself in a time where it's kind of hard to rebuild yourself. Like he's like we were talking about before very vulnerable I I was that kid in the pool with the shirt growing up for such a long time and as parents other parents of the families or kids' houses I'd be like oh get in the pool is no no big deal and then it's just draws more attention like you were saying and it's just so stressful. So um, so I think it's good. We're talking about this actually? um.

 

14:48.78

parentalliance

But branching off that maybe something more exciting is there anything you guys have maybe I know we said what is your plans for summer. It's probably too much But do you guys have anything planned for the summer at all or any any ideas I plan on doing a lot of staycations. Yeah, so like going home and. I really I enjoy being home even though I work from home. Um, and we have like a couple little trips planned where where it's just for a couple days. It's just for the weekend and as a homeowner. There's always so many things to get done and. For me. My youngest is 18 he'll turn nineteen over the summer so and he drives and has a car so I feel like this the first summer but I don't have to. Like schedule for him and give him something to do that kind of thing. Um that I'm really excited to stay home and get things done projects and I garden and stuff like that. Um, so I'm kind of. Having a way back summer. That's the plan. That's great. You know it's interesting projects only really happen when I come home from school I don't think but many projects don't get done until I get home and then it's like hey yeah you remember that thing we wanted to do six months ago ah yeah I guess so I guess we get that they're ready on through.

 

16:16.17

parentalliance

You know the outside enjoying yeah outdoors trying to do a little bit more um activities you know there's a lot of places around us because we're around peninsula and like Gary in a lot more outside time you know is what I want to do I get that you guys have a work outside. Do you guys like that.

 

16:34.98

parentalliance

Work outside I can't I can't I need I need a table and I don't need wind I like I like I love to be outside but I like it's like business and pleasure I guess I don't mix I don't mix both of them I want to give my um gazebo set up. It's like a pop up 1 for my deck and so I have shade. And I want to do our support groups out there thats because we had been I don't know if it was eagle mayor we were somewhere else and we did omaha we did our podcast and like we were just outside. We weren't thinking much of it because we're looking at. Computer screen. Well when we got all done 1 of the parents had said they watched the sun go down behind us at the mountains and it was so beautiful and like I never think about stuff like that. So I do want to be outside more and you know take my laptop out and. Maybe if I'm more relaxed then my parents will be more relaxed. Yeah yeah, it's you say Gazebos ah I don't know if you know this but Peyton is the biggest fan of Gazeos I've ever met my life. So if you bring up the the work gazebo. You can have a full podcast conversation with her about casebo. Um.

 

17:49.37

parentalliance

And think she even wants get married to one which is I don't know but um, yeah, but range it from that any else I mean something I was thinking about um and I've had my kids at the age that they are now.

 

18:08.83

parentalliance

They are around other parents that have small kids and the conversation comes up a lot of time like they would see kids having meltdowns or having a hard time and you know how the parents are handling it and they would ask me like well. Why why did you handle it this way and I'm seeing someone else handle it that way and not that I'm always right? Believe me we as parents we learn as we go and we do better and better every time and then we mess up and then we try to do much better than that. Just kind of a roller coaster of figuring things out but 1 of the things I always did even at a very young age is talk to them explain to them about events that are coming up. Never leaving them in the dark of they just woke up and were in the car and oh yeah, by the way we're going to sew-and-s so's for a picnic today or a bonfire. Whatever it may be I think a lot of our kids have social anxieties and if they're more prepared and they know what to expect. Even how many people are there even like Tracy said we may leave early I think the idea of even having like a certain code word or something they do or say that is this means we need to go now like somebody's had enough.

 

19:34.93

parentalliance

And that's all they have the capacity to deal with today and we want to leave in a good frame of mind. You know we don't want to wait till someone's over in the corner and they're trying to catch their breath and they're so embarrassed and so I think just really talking to them and as leaders of our families. Sometimes we take it for granted that our kids know and they just oh work going to so and sos like they may have questions who's going to be there. What should I wear how long are we going to be there. What are we going to eat why we're there just all kinds of questions and I think talking to them even like go into the grocery store. A lot of parents are going to have their kids with them at the grocery store now because school was out how do you navigate the grocery store for myself. It was going over the grocery list and you may not want to do that with a 10 year old but if you do it with a ten year old they have a little skin in the game of why we're in the store and not that you're going to get away from every kind of meltdown or thing happening because stuff happens and it is what it is. You know, get your groceries and if your kid's screaming and crying the whole time. It really doesn't matter and don't worry about offending other people. You're there to feed your family You're not there because you're trying to annoy other people but having the conversation of this is what we're getting. This is also what we're not getting this is how long we'll be in there once we do this We're gonna go do that.

 

21:08.86

parentalliance

Sometimes we kind of take our kids along for the ride and I think allowing them to help navigate that and know what to expect can change your whole day in in my experience 9 times out of 10 that made a huge difference. Yeah I always think back to a story whenever I was that kid in the store. My dad and my mom would turn into a game right? So like they'd give me the list and give me like a time frame to go to go grab as much as I could never grabbed it at all. but ah perfectly but still it is an interesting scenario. You're coming back and you're doing the mundane stuff that you never thought you would have before the stuff that you thought your parents did were boring. Ah, you're a part of it now. So it's it's a good point to bring up Melissa and it's teaching them. It's given them a skill 100% you know and there's a lot of kids that go through the grocery store and they might be able to tell you like where their favorite foods are but maybe they don't know like. Where this is or that something that's important you know and even as my kids got older and they were like we don't want to do this. We don't want to go let us stay home then I was like I'm going to sit on the bench here's the list when you get to the register I'll meet you there and they're like are you kidding me. Oh no, I'm not you go ahead and now I'm sitting there. You know for 25 minutes getting you get a little me time. Yeah yeah, and they're out there trying to figure it out. Yeah know and it was a really good thing for them because they had a lot of social anxiety and being in a store.

 

22:42.58

parentalliance

Without me, but me still there gave them a little bit of coping skills. I mean they came back probably a dozen times like what what size that this is what this now this? Yeah yeah I found this. Can we get 2 of these so I mean it can be whatever you make of it. But just think about having those conversations and even though we are those leaders of our families. We don't have to feel like we're running like an army and it has to be this this and that include them in those the decisions that they're capable of making you know of. Giving them that grocery list and sharing that with them. Also um, you know while you were talking about giving them the ideas of what your day looks like and those plans look like you know another um struggle I Guess um. Is that what I've experienced too is sometimes if we say this is what we're going to do and we give our child. You know that expectation and then they they hold you to it and then something changes and that that that activity is no longer going to take place. You know I've always had to have that conversation that things might change and does not mean that you know you can't do it another day. But if something does come up that we don't get to do it. You know, let's be flexible with that because I know that it's very.

 

24:18.37

parentalliance

It's a very hard struggle when you know certain kids like with aidhd they have your even autism sometimes even but um, have that expectation and they have it in their mindset that this is what's going to happen and they have to stay that course. Um and sometimes it's hard. You know for them to understand that you know we have to kind of go a different course today or you know and and be flexible. Yeah, my dad always told me roll with the punches. He's got romantic punches. Um, I'm gonna sorry you do not yeah roll the punches. It still tell me that now actually know it's actually turned the other way around now he's getting a little older I got to tell him to roll the punches and it flips on you. Everyone listening it flips on you trust me? Yeah, but also another another thing as ah as everyone was talking I was trying to think about. Times right now. What's going on graduation. So let's talk a little bit about graduation. Um, it's such a big part of every parent in child's life. Ah, especially children with challenges who who graduates it's it's a big deal. So do you guys can remember any stories or anything about graduation days for you. I remember I had to I've had to sit through. Okay, wow. So every single one of my siblings who graduated from college and high school 7 I've sit through 7 so far. So not my favorite things in the world as a brother but I'm sure as a parent. They're great. So so you guys go ahead. I'll just say my last name is wasson.

 

25:46.67

parentalliance

I'm at the end. Oh my goodness so that's interesting I mean no matter where your name comes. You know you're sitting there the whole time. But um in Pennsylvania most schools.

 

26:05.14

parentalliance

And I want to say this probably happens a lot for a lot of different schools. You don't know where it's going to be if it's gonna be inside or if it's gonna be outside it depends on the weather. Yeah, so for us it is it was so stressful for daughters with hair. And how hot they were gonna be just that little thing and that big change a lot of us go to schools that are not in the big city where like our kids actually knew. Every single person they were graduating with they knew who their parents were who their grandparents were and who was cousins and that kind of thing. It's very scary to leave that environment and go out even to the city next door that. Is not too far away but it's a whole different thing and even I mean these kids go through so much of they drive around their little town once you know when they are driving and things like that. Maybe. Or 5 times a year you leave your city and go to the other city for maybe some kind of entertainment or the hospital and now they got to go there and they don't know anybody and they're leaving home and I mean some of these kids are going states away you know to different colleges or whatnot.

 

27:38.33

parentalliance

And even though like we're celebrating and and it's such this great thing and you know we cry because it's our babies I think they're going through a lot even though they might be like I'm so excited I can't wait to get out of here. There's a lot that happens with. Separation from their little cocoon and then we have kids our kids that stay in school because of maybe a mental health diagnosis or physical disabilities different things that they may stay there until they're 21 and then they are graduating. And go into possibly like another ah center or something like that and it's really tough to leave that because they've been in that situation since they were 5.

 

28:31.23

parentalliance

And I don't think we give them enough credit for going through that change and whatever that change looks like for them that separation from high school into the next part of their life I think it's really difficult for a lot of them and it's bittersweet. Um. I think I had just heard this story and I thought it was something that our kids never thought about I had seen a school and I think it might have been Philadelphia where the graduating class would get their cap and gowns like a week early. And they would go visit the elementary schools and they would have like a walk in the hall. So all the students. The little guys would line the hallway and they would get to see their school sorry their seniors go through and I think that when you're in elementary school. You don't think about that you'll be leaving. That you're going to become that age you know because you're just in that little bubble of elementary school. But I thought I think it's a really good way to bring that senior back to the time when they were little and that it was always going to happen this way. It was supposed to happen this way. And I think that that must be such a good healthy thing to do for those seniors even for both sides for that elementary. But for those seniors too to think about that and leave in a different way than we're handing this to you in front of your family and friends and out you go.

 

30:05.50

parentalliance

So I think it gives them a job to do about that situation. It's a great point I remember I remember leaving high school feeling like like you said like is this right? like is this what I should be doing am I in the right place am I going to the next right place you know? So I'm sure seeing back to my roots like that would have been would have been real special like seeing all these young kids. Who don't even understand like you don't even think about graduation until youre literally your junior senior year and then you're like oh my goodness. It's all ending like next year next week um and I'm feeling that this year about college you know next year I'm graduating everything and then no more homework unless I'm getting paid for it. You know.

 

30:43.82

parentalliance

Um, but yeah I think it's a great point. You make you know there's ah, there's a lot of guessing and and worry and stress and anxiety that comes from graduating you feel you feel like you just did it all right? You're like oh I did it and then you're like I have to go do more and more and more and restart and reinvent and so it's a hard process. It's a very hard process. But I think we're kind of quick with our kids to say well so-and-s so is going to this school so- and-so so is gonna go to this center or they're gonna go to this technical school or whatever it may be and I think that what gets told to our kids is. You have till the end of your senior year which really you don't they make you make decisions way back in September January for the plan ahead. But I think that's a lot on a kid to make a decision and some of these decisions are very pivotal. Um, are kids that are joined in the military like we have a child that is a marine um some decisions aren't let's try this for a month and see how it goes there are big commitments for very young people. And I think it's a lot It's a lot on them and I think we need to give them that grace and space to maybe not know and try to make decisions and I always told my kids whatever decision you make at 17 or 18 that nineteen and 21 year old

 

32:13.60

parentalliance

Going to make a different decision a 25 year old and thirty year old so it's okay to change your mind. It's okay to go in a different direction. It's okay to try something and decide once you've learned a little bit about it that you don't want to do it. It would break my heart to see a parent tell a kid. No, you signed up for this so you're going to see it through for 4 years and then that person that adult is now in a job that they didn't want and they found out pretty early on it wasn't for them. It wasn't what they wanted and I think that's so unfair. Think we need to treat our adult children like the adults that they are and definitely support them but not make decisions for them that is going to affect the rest of their life and it has to be okay to say you know what I'm going to try this next year I signed up for these classes I dropped this thing. Or I'm going to quit my job and I'm going to go get a different one that has to be okay, yeah, and the end loving what you do is should be the most important thing. Absolutely I think to you know, having conversations again I feel like you and I are like on complete different sides here. But it's like also having that conversation too with that child that doesn't see themselves going to that college and doesn't even see themselves holding that job you know because of school struggles because of you know many different things you know of

 

33:45.00

parentalliance

What does that future look like you know when they can't even see that future for themselves. That's a very good point you know and encouraging. You know that everybody doesn't have the same path and because your friends might be going to you know college and and. Kind of moving away doesn't mean that it's the end and that there is going to be possibilities still for their future. You know I do know that for my daughter. Um you know school has been such a struggle and you know we have to look at you know, different options. You know what. What can we help her to obtain. You know we have the tech school and and be able to get those job skill readiness you know available. You know? So thankfully our school has that ability to have that 3 years of job skills because I do think that for some students that. Are not book smart and not it does and I'm not saying that every student is you know, easy going but is so hard sometimes when they're you know struggling so hard in school to you know? Um, just get by. You know I mean yeah I think that tech school was fantastic. Actually I'm making a point I have ah so many friends who who are literally like full-time plumbers mechanics and they're they're my age right? and they're they I'm in debt in school and they are rolling in in some good money right now. So right? It's it whoever yes, go ahead.

 

35:13.60

parentalliance

My son actually went to tax school for welding and when he graduated he went on to become a journeyman and now he's the full welder I mean he's an iron worker he is making really good money and. Now my daughter Um, again now this trade school um was separate from the one that my son went to it was for a skill center for kids that might have a little bit harder time and that can't just go to cosmetology and. And you know in the hospitality and they actually have hotel rooms that they practice in and they have a cafe that they practice with and they actually go to a hotel. To you know work in the rooms and things like that. So you know for that aspect I Do think that that will teach her some valuable skills for employment you know and she's only a sophomore right Now. So she'll she still has two more Yearss right? You know right? and it's a struggle you know? Oh yeah, So um. But my end of point whoever has a negative stigma or connotation towards tech school get rid of it because I love it and I think it's a great great alternative for people who who can really utilize it. Well I think too like you think we're far away like we're on 2 separate things. But we're not and I'll say.

 

36:39.21

parentalliance

I'll say this because as parents we want. We Want to see what our kid's future could be and we're always trying to like plan towards that but I could see like a child that's not Struggling. You could probably wait till their senior year and then they start thinking about it. Some of the children like some of our children you have to start that 3 and 4 year plan of transitioning and getting them ready for what life is going to be like after that and they. What has to be put into that is so much more hard work for the child for the parent and I think that a lot of parents don't start doing that planning as early as they could be I don't think that they know that they can start planning that early. So when we have ieps for our kids when they get to that certain Age. We really need to start making that part of their Iep plan that they are getting those getting those opportunities because they're so important and. Whatever our children's like outlook in life is going to be. We need to start away earlier and I think then I think people are realizing you know and brewer you had said something about even the driving right? You know for my daughter. Um.

 

38:07.49

parentalliance

We will have to try to. We will have to look into the options of you know, looking at that driving type of school to be able for her to be able to take a driver's test you know and be able to because it's not like she's going to be able to go into the driving center and be able to take a paper test. So you know for us we will have to look at those options you know, even just taking for granted just going down and taking a drivers test. You know it's sometimes hard so getting Ovr you know involved into that planning once they hit to be junior and seniors and seeing what options are available. it is a process and so planning that parents have to really you know look into research you know and because it's not going to come to it to you just by the school. You know I mean the school's not just gonna give you everything so as we know right? Yeah right? and that could start as young as 1314 years old to get that plan. On the books in the ip so it's ready so at the end of that school year when they're turning 13 or 14 you want to have things in place that when the following school year starts. We're off and running. We're working towards these things I have. 1 of my children had a huge retention issue where she would forget things that she struggled so hard with anything of thinking she was ever going to be successful. It is so hard to convince a child a young adult.

 

39:39.99

parentalliance

That they're going to be successful and they don't think that they are and they tell themselves that they're not yeah you know yeah and it's it's it takes a lot from a mom a dad to make that child really understand that they are capable. That there is a place of this world for them and it may not be what they think you know the girl over here or the boy over here is doing but there is a place in this world for them and they belong here. Yeah I think that's a great point. Ah, we can end it right? there. Actually if if anybody else has anything else to say I think we I think that's a good spot to end. Um yet everyone thank you for listening if you have more comments or questions visit us at p a parent and Familylines.org other than that have a great rest of your week.